We out here like Snooki farts #NothingLess #Dank #newyork #chill

Up and at it early

Me and Uncle Phil out in the ocean surfing waves and boxing sharks. #WeOutChyea #Beach #newyork #dank #summer

Alcoholic Logarithism #YungRainMan

Merlot Moons

The mimes and dolphins have finally united!! ALL IS LOST! THEIR DESTRUCTIVE WAYS SHALL ENSURE THAT THESE ARE THE FINAL DAYS OF HUMANITY! #DolphinMimeApocalypse

The water is so clear today that you can tell which of the lobsters have herpes.

Im out here like Richard Nixon! Drinking Hennessy and riding dolphins and shit! #summer #RichardNixonLayingBeachSide #dank #newyork #beers

Sippin red wine beach side like MC HAMMER. #newyork #dank #Merlot #McHammerWithSubstanceAbuse #summer

Posted up in the art gallery like Steve Nash smokin hash in the bathroom of an Arby’s #art #hamptons #drunk #newyork

My lifestyle on Matt Lauer (leaned out) #summer #newyork #dank #turnt #MattLauerFaded

I’m a legend in the streets like HAGRID! #trill #trippy #dank #ThugLife #instagood #NewYork

I believe this to be the peak of journalism. (turd) #JournalismIsDead #dank #wtf #MiddleFingerUpToMainstreamMedia #journalism

We go 0 to 100 REAL QUICK #TooReal #dank #kush #newyork #flexing #hellyeah

I have a confession to make. I was actually Jen Selter this whole time!!! I totally punk’d you all! SUCK ON THAT!

I have a confession to make. I was actually Jen Selter this whole time!!! I totally punk’d you all! SUCK ON THAT!