Holy Art Thou Poo Poo Pee Pee
I was just shopping in my local CVS and when I went to reach for some toothpaste, that was on the bottom shelf. I felt a pain tear down my anal equator! I WAS BEING GIVEN A WEDGIE! I quickly fought off my aggressor and turned to examine what kind of person would do this to me. It was sister Mary O’Mally from St.Barts. I demanded to know why she did this! She then informed me that she had a vision of the lord and he proclaimed to her that I was deserving of a fierce wedgie. I inquired, Why does God demand I be wedgied? Suddenly the nun evaporated right in front of my eyes! I pondered for a moment before deciding to begin a boycott of CVS.
How I Met Your Mother (Spec Script)
Once upon a time I was on the elevator and the most beautiful girl I had ever seen came on. She had long jet black hair, a great smile and other great body parts as well. Our eyes met and we exchanged a smile but the elevator stayed filled with a heavy silence. I wanted to start a conversation with this ravishing woman but nothing came to mind but her smile. I started getting nervous that I would blow my chance with her. Then something beautiful happened. She farted. Her golden flatulence shattered the silence like an obese man who’s smoked bath salts in a china shop. She giggled and started blushing. Being the gentlemen I am, I did not want her to feel uncomfortable or embarrassed so I forced a fart out and giggled back at her. She dramatically spun around and look at me as if I was the Pope in the middle of an altar boy convention. Yada-Yada-Yada, we got married, had kids, now we hate each other and have a bitter outlook on life. That’s how I met your mother, you spoiled bastards. You two little pricks ruined my life! Fuck off let daddy drink cheap brandy in peace.